Your Seat at the Table: Why Women Must Get Comfortable with Power
/
We talk a lot about getting more women to the table—in leadership, in investing, in decision-making rooms where real change happens. But what we don’t talk about enough is what happens once we get there.
The truth is, having a seat at the table isn’t enough if you don’t feel comfortable using it. I’ve seen too many talented, visionary women hesitate in those rooms. They show up fully qualified, deeply prepared, and still sit down quietly—waiting to be asked, waiting for permission, or playing small to keep the peace.
Let me say this clearly: Power is not a personality flaw. It’s not something to hide, soften, or apologize for. It’s something to understand, own, and use—wisely and unapologetically.
Why Do So Many Women Feel Uncomfortable with Power?
It’s not a mystery. We’ve been conditioned to believe that power is something you either have or don’t have—something granted by others, not cultivated from within.
We’re told to be likable. To be collaborative. To not be “too much.” And when we do take charge, we’re often penalized for it—labeled as bossy, abrasive, or difficult. That double bind has taught generations of women to downplay their ambition and defer their authority.
But here’s the shift: We don’t need to mimic outdated versions of power. We need to redefine it. Power doesn’t have to mean dominance, ego, or control. It can mean clarity, confidence, and the ability to move people and ideas forward with intention.
Owning Your Seat Isn’t About Ego—It’s About Leadership
When you walk into a room—especially one filled with decision-makers—you need to remember: you earned your place. You’re not doing anyone a favor by playing small. In fact, shrinking helps no one—not your team, not your company, and certainly not the women who will come after you.
Owning your seat means:
Speaking with authority without apology or disclaimers.
Making decisions and standing by them—even if they’re unpopular.
Saying no when something doesn’t align with your values or goals.
Backing other women who are learning to find their voice, too.
And yes, it also means being visible. Not for recognition, but because leadership is seen and felt. If people don’t see you owning your voice, they’ll assume they don’t have to either.
Power Is Generous, Not Scarce
We’ve been fed the myth that power is limited. That if one woman gets a seat, there’s less room for others. That’s nonsense.
Real power is expansive. It creates opportunities. It invites others in.
That’s what mentor capital is all about. The kind of power I want women to wield isn’t just about titles or money—it’s about influence and impact. It’s about using your seat to open doors, share insight, and make room at the table for voices that haven’t been heard enough.
Getting Comfortable with Power Starts Now
If you’ve ever stayed silent in a meeting where you had something to say, or walked away from a negotiation knowing you asked for too little, this is your invitation to start practicing power:
Practice clarity: Say what you mean, with confidence and without apology.
Reframe discomfort: Power may feel awkward at first—that’s just new muscles being used.
Build your circle: Surround yourself with women who model power well, and lift you as you rise.
Mentor boldly: Share your lessons, not just your wins. Let others learn from your path.