I was almost always the only woman in the room … for a long time I never really noticed & then as I moved up the ladder and the meetings got longer and there were bio breaks I realized …. I was alone in the ladies room and there was often uproarious laughter from the men’s room …were they laughing at me or what was I missing? So at each bio-break I would stand and remind the boys that they were not to do any deal talking till we were back together.. Who did I think I was to ask or demand this action? No clue but I did and it worked for the most part.
I guess I started as a trailblazer when I was 5 years old .. my parents were arguing and my father was belittling my mother once again and I can remember thinking to myself … I will never let that happen to me. .I will never let a man boss me, berate me or make me feel like I do not matter or more importantly that I am stupid. I have no idea where those thoughts came from but they have stayed with me.
I can remember when I was first married my father chastised me because I did not iron my husbands shirts… I was not sure if I should laugh or cry so I told my Dad that if he wanted to iron my husbands shirts that was fine with me but I was certain that my husband could take care of this task himself… I could see the smirk on my Moms face as this exchange occurred. Where did all this hutzpah come from?
So from the age of 5 I thought I mattered and that somehow I was an equal in the world … What world I am not sure and why did I feel this way, where did these thoughts and dreams come from? Its not that I thought I was smarter or better but I just that I belonged “at the table” before I even knew what that meant.
I certainly have more than my fair share of insecurities and over the years I have often felt I was being pushed away from the table or even removed in some cases but deep down I always knew I needed to fight for that seat in all aspects of life
Self Esteem is a passion of mine. I have met many young women in my career that I could see had huge potential but for some reason they did not have goof self esteem or self-respect. I was so fortunate to be able to nudge them a bit this way & that to where they were able to soar both personally and professionally …very rewarding for me and for them.
This blog is dedicated to finding ways for all women to understand that they belong at the table … at the head or the side but most importantly at the table. Internalizing that feeling, that concept, is very meaningful but often hard to find or keep in perspective. This is not arrogance - this is solid self-esteem at its most basic level.